If you could only be remembered with one word, what word would it be?

How Ironic... I've been thinking of things like this recently: Life, Death. Living, Dying. Why do I hate thursdays? and What am I to do with my so called life?

I turned sixteen several weeks ago, almost a month ago, it's depressing: Growing a year older knowing you've done nothing important or significant, or even something as insignificant as doing a cartwheel.

That's my thing right now... learn to do a cartwheel. I've often found myself wishing I could do a cartwheel, 'I'm so happy right now I could do a cartwheel!' Soon, I hope, I will do one when I'm happy. I'll be that crazy chick you see at the mall doing a cartwheel with an insane smile on her face who you shake you head at as you pass, but don't shake your head at her, but be happy with her. What's the point of doing that to someone?

After I learn to do a cartwheel I will concer the next thing on my list: ride a rollar coaster. That's right, I, Ania Olson, have never riden on a rollar coaster. And I want to ride a rollar coaster, and not just one of those small ones that kids ride to keep there friends from nagging them, but one of those crazy coasters that go upside down and loopdy-loop and clime sixty bagillion miles into the air! One that will make me reck my pants and think I'm about to die, yet make me feel so damn good that I'll want to do it again and again... and again. Perhaps I'll puke afterwards -- it will be embarressing but I'll be so happy I'll tell people myself!

I read this book about a girl who has cancer. She made a list of things she wanted to do before she dies... it begins with her going clubbing with a friend and having sex (#1) and ends with her on her deathbed. It really makes that come alive (sorry, pun unintented.) for you. I don't want to have a deathbed, I want to die doing something I love, like writing... I think that would be a funny way to die. I could just imagine myself standing at the pearly gates: 'but wait God! I'm not ready to die yet! I-HAVE-TO-FINNISH-THIS-CHAPTER!' haha...

It would be easy for you to say that that book inspired me... it didn't. Just made death more real to me. I've gone on with the list... Re-Doing it. I just told you numbers 2 & 3... #1 has to be worked on everyday for the rest of my life: 'Live True with no Regrets'. I'm still going to do the List of Sixteen (#4) but that will be completed by my seventeenth birthday.

I'm going to eventually add more to the list, but I figure to start small, add things as they become avaliable to me. I'm only sixteen after all, the world isn't open fully to me yet...

I guess I've been avoiding the question... if I wanted to be remembered with one word what would it be?

Stardust.

P.S. If I happen to break my neck while doing a cartwheel or somehow I die on that rollarcoaster... I want my funeral to be a circus. No seriously, call the circus. No crying is going to be allowed once I die, but I'd rather rejoyousing because I'm in a better place. My mom would consider this unreasonable, like my feelings over my birthday, but it's something that can't be ignored. Don't be sad on my account but live, smile and be happy. For that's what I do, and want of others.

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